Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Test All Things

(Sorry, I don't know why my computer has made this all italicized)

Today in class we practiced prophecy. And I learned that I am not very good at it. I know if God ever placed me in a situation where He needed me to give a prophecy to someone, He would give me the words to do it. But in this practice setting... yeah I didn't excel.

Prophecy has really peeked my interest this week. I have had a lot of people tell me things about my future since coming to DTS, but over this past weekend I realized that God Himself had not actually told me some of these things. If there is something big that is going to happen in your life, God will tell you about it. Its your life.

Karen, our teacher this week, said something along the lines that sometime people will give you a word and it will be wrong. This is why we need to "test all things."

"Do not treat prophecies with contempt
21 but test them all; hold on to what is good, 22 reject every kind of evil." ~1 Thessalonians 5:20-22

I raised my hand and asked her how exactly to test prophecies that are given to us. The first most important thing to do is look at how it lines up with Scripture. God never contradicts himself, so if the prophecy goes against the Bible, it's false. Then you want to ask "does this appeal to my spirit?" Usually we can get a strong sense of is this for me or not. Again, know that God would tell you if it was something big. If someone came up to you and told you God told them you were going to die tomorrow...if you have a relationship with God that's something He would probably just tell you. And finally, you want to look at motivations the person giving you the word might have. When we were given a 10 minute break, I went up to talk to Karen about this teaching. I told her a lot of the things that have been said over me since coming to DTS. She told me to write them all down and than lay it down at Jesus' feet. Pray about it and wait. If it happens, it was of God. If it doesn't happen, than it wasn't. No matter what prophecy we are given, it doesn't need to tie us down in any way or force us to change anything or live any differently. It's God's responsibility to bring it about, not ours. And as I went back to my seat and prayed about that, I just felt so much peace. I hate when things seem so obvious coming from someone else's mouth. 1 Corinthians 13:12 says we only know in part anyway. So I'm done worrying. What's been said about my future doesn't really matter right now. Right now, the thing that matters is my focus on God. I just need to focus on how much I love my Jesus and everything else will fall into place.

I started going through my journals today. I really want to see where God has spoken clearly to just me. Not based on what people have told me. I want to see where God has told me things. So far, there are three things that I know that I know that I know. But the even cooler thing is that I'm seeing a pattern to how I know that I know that I know. With these three things, I have multiple journal entries where I think this is what God's telling me. Eventually, God backs it up by giving me some Scripture relating to what He has been telling me. And, with each of these three things, at least one person has backed up what God has been telling me without them knowing what God has been telling me. Its all very cool :)

I'm half way through my week of fasting. And God has spoken some pretty cool things to me and given a few good revelations. Still more to come. I'm excited! Rough weeks always seem to turn out to be the best experiences with God.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Fasting, Tongues, and Love

I wish I would have gotten the chance to write this morning. That would have made my next blog so much cooler. So this morning, I was going to write about how I'm struggling a little bit. Usually, I am very good at knowing when God is speaking to me and when my thoughts are coming from somewhere else, but lately I've been having a hard time with that. I have had a lot of doubts in my head. I have a lot of questions that I want God to answer. So Monday at lunch, I talked with my beautiful mentor, Catherine, about it. She mentioned I just take a week to fast and spend some extra time with God. I took her right up on that. God has been slowly teaching me the importance of fasting, and I had already had it in my head that fasting from something was something I should do this week. Before talking with Catherine, I was just going to fast from chocolate...just because I couldn't really think of anything else. Fasting from food isn't usually a good idea for me. But after talking with Catherine and praying about it, God gave me a whole list of things to fast from this week. One of those things is facebook, so I won't be able to post this on facebook. Hopefully...people will still just check to see if I wrote anything. God doesn't need facebook if He wants people to read this. So there is that and a bunch of other things. Its a hard core fasting week. I want answers from God, and I want them now. That afternoon during class, over half my class was prayed over and received the gift of speaking in tongues. When our teacher, Karen, called people to come up who wanted to prayed over to receive this gift, I found myself at the front of the class...but then I noticed the time. It was almost time to go pick Trent up from child care. I don't like messing around with the Holy Spirit when I need to be somewhere soon. It gets way too easy to loose track of time and be late. So I went and sat down and watched God bless my classmates.

So that's what I would have wrote about this morning. NOW, I have a way cooler story. So this morning during class, we got right back into praying over a couple people who weren't able to speak in tongues yesterday. The Holy Spirit took over...I don't know how many of you have been in a room full of people totally overcome by the Spirit...its hard to describe without making it sound creepy. But anyway, I was just not feeling it. I was feeling worse than I had the day before. God had convicted me over a few big things that I was just feeling terrible about. I ended up walking out in the middle of class to go talk with Catherine...or more like cry my eyes out because I was feeling so empty and unsure of so many things. She said some awesome things...I felt a little better...sorta. I went back to class. People were on the floor. Some where out, some where laughing, some were speaking out things God was giving them for our class or for an individual. I sat down in my chair and started journaling to God about what Catherine had said. Like how this isn't a game to God. He doesn't want me to be in the dark. He doesn't want me to be deceived by the devil. He wants to communicate with me more than I want Him to. This is part of what I wrote:

I know You will speak to me.

I believe in who You are. You are my redeeming and loving Forgiver. I know You are here. Whether I can feel You or not. You are here.

Then God spoke to me (but of course I doubted it at first because that's just my thing these days) and told me to go over to Karen, kneel by her, and put her hand on my head. She was at that point on the ground experiencing the Holy Spirit with everyone else. She wasn't out, but He was clearly all over her. Because I was doubting, I didn't go up. But then my heart started pumping, my adrenaline starting rushing. Go! Just go kneel by her. I will take care of the rest. You have felt this before. You know this is Me. Go. So I went. I went to the front of classroom, stepping over bodies as I went. I knelt down by Karen and placed her hand on my head. She immediately started praying over me, and I immediately felt the Holy Spirit. The experience that followed is crazier and more unbelievable than what I have already talked about it, but this is a little of what I got out of today:
I do know God's voice. I know what it feels like when God tells me to do something, and I don't want to do it, but He makes me anyway. The darkness I was feeling was taken away. I once again feel beautiful and full of God's light and glow. Jesus is crazy in love with me. Crazy in love. This week of fasting has already shown me how little time I have given Him, and how much He wants that time. This week of fasting is not about God giving me answers. Its about me loving Him. Its about me just being in love with Jesus and once again giving my all to Him. Because He is so worthy. So worthy.
So I guess tomorrow is another day! I hope this blog didn't freak you out too much. I'm sure there is more to come. Having a week of learning about and receiving spiritual gifts on top of a week of fasting...I really set myself up to be blown away.

On a side note, I know Jesus is my Provider. I know He has called Trent and I to Korea. I know He will bring in the money through supporters. My leaders wanted the money yesterday. Trent and I had some supporters send money in, but we are still about $2700 short. So overwhelming when you just type it out like that. But again, I know God will provide. Please be praying about this with us!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Back to School

Thanksgiving break was so awesome. My family drove all the way down here to spend some time with Trent and I. Kelsey got to be a part of our family, which was awesome cuz I didn't have to miss her so much that way :) I don't know what I'm going to do when we have to split up after Christmas. I've just grown way too fond of seeing her beautiful face everyday.

Trent and I had such a good time hanging out with our family over the break. It was like we hadn't been apart at all. It was really hard to say goodbye again, but it helped knowing I'll be seeing them in just 3 weeks for Christmas :) I'm really excited to come home!

This week our classes are going to be on spiritual gifts...so I'm guessing my blogs this week are going to seem crazy. I'm nervous. I always get nervous when I'm about to be exposed to something I have little experience with. I've heard that our teachers this week sometimes will stop in the middle of class and call on two people to pray and prophecy over each other. I'm hoping God uses this week to reconfirm a lot of the crazy things He has told me in the past couple months. Please about this for me. I just want to know that I know that I know that I am in God's will and doing what He wants and not just picking out things that support my own desires. This is a strong prayer on my heart this week.

So I guess get ready for the craziness! I'm going to try to post on teachings and happenings this week, whether I think you will believe it or not. Just brace yourselves I guess :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thanksgiving Break

Well Thanksgiving break has begun! It was a very short week, but of course it was awesome, and I was really impacted by our teachings.

Trent had a pretty interesting experience too...
Yesterday during childcare in the afternoon, Trent stuck his middle finger into a train track piece:
(the second one) After he struggled with it a little, he came over to me because he couldn't get it off. Of course I laughed. Just a couple weeks ago, Trent had stuck his finger into a toy during preschool, and his teachers had to break the toy to get his finger out. So I took him to the bathroom to use soap and water. Nothing happened. I tried pulling the thing off, but I started getting scared I would pull too hard and would end up dislocating his finger. So I walked him back to childcare and called Trent's good buddy, Michael. I thought maybe Michael could figure out a way to break it (which was dumb, these are thick chunks of wood) or would be able to work at getting it off while I stayed in childcare. Once Michael got there, he took Trent into the kitchen. A couple minutes later, Trent's other good buddy Jake, came into childcare to get me. I went into the kitchen with Jake to find Trent crying and some kind of yellow goup all over his hand. Michael said the same thing about not wanting to dislocate Trent's finger. The train piece was now wedged just under Trent's knuckle, and his finger was turned red. Someone suggested we take Trent to the nurse. So we jumped into Michael's truck and drove down to the building the nurse was in. Of course she was gone. Another woman there asked what we needed, and we showed her Trent's finger. She laughed as she examined it and said, "Oh this is no problem. Just a couple weeks ago we were up in the nursery area because a kid had stuck his finger and toy. We had to break it to get it off!" Trent got really quite and buried his face into Michael's shoulder. I started laughing and said that was him. We talked about maybe calling one of the ground's people to get a saw or something. She said in the meantime to get some ice Trent's finger that was no turning slightly purplish. So we drove back up to the kitchen to get ice. The ground guy Michael called was very against using a saw to get it off...for obvious reasons...Michael ran into the kitchen to get ice and soon was back out saying Ms. Debbie (the woman in charge of the kitchen) wanted to see Trent. So Trent and I went into her office, and I set Trent down on her desk. As she examined his finger she said, "Aren't you the kid who had a toy cut off his finger a couple weeks ago?" Again I burst out laughing. Oh the reputation my kid is going to have here. So Ms. Debbie got to work. What tried a couple things, but the thing that ended up working was she doused his finger and the track in olive oil.
The oil like softened the wood, and Ms. Debbie began pealing away the wood sliver by sliver. She used pliers to try to get under it. It was intense! At the end, Trent's finger had started swelling and getting really sensitive. I finally stopped laughing at this whole thing as he really started screaming in pain but then it was done! Ms. Debbie got the train track off, we got Trent's finger in some ice and it was done. I hope he learned his lesson. Michael and I took Trent to Walmart to get him a sucker. As soon as we were on the road Trent was like, "I'm never going to do that again." And then he passed out. Out like a light. He slept all the way to Walmart and stayed sleeping as we were in Walmart and he didn't wake up until he was buckled up again. Emotionally exhausted the poor kid. Oh good times.
...Of course we had to tell everyone in our school :)

The past couple days we had classes on Abortion with Bev Klein. My heart was on fire! She works with a ministry that is a part of YWAM - Fatherheart / Living Alternatives. "Fatherheart is a safe haven where a young mother can decide what will be best for her and her baby. There are no easy answers: single parenting, adoption, marriage, each presents unique challenges. Each too can carry a hope and a future for the mother. At Fatherheart, we walk the young moms through each option in a loving environment, so they can be sure they make the right decision." The more she talked, the more my heart burned. It literally took all I had to stay in my seat and not jump over my table and the table in front of me to get to her and shout, "Sign me up!" I hope God lets me work with her for a season :) That would be so awesome! God, I am so willing!

Anyway, so we talked about abortion. It was very intense. She walked us through what happens in the womb during each trimester, and then she talked about what kind of abortion was done during each trimester...complete with pictures. It was so sad. Beyond words. Sad is not the word. It was horrible and revolting. We talked about the difference humanism and Christianity. We talked about how Pro-Choice should be called Pro-Abortion, because that's really what it is. God is really the one who is Pro-Choice. He is the one who gave us free will and gave us choices. Its up to us to make the right choices. "Pro-Choice" has just become a nice way to say, "I'm ok with a mom choosing to murder her baby if it hasn't been born yet." We talked about how we don't even necessarily want to label ourselves as Pro-Life. People who are Pro-Life are very baby focused. This ministry takes the position of being Pro-Value. Both the baby and the mom have value. Both are taken into consideration. Its not just about saving the baby. Its helping the mom get through the pregnancy, and its helping care for her after the baby is born, whether she keeps the baby or gives it to a family for adoption.

We then went a little into relationships and talked about how if men in our culture would rise up to who God has called them to be, a lot of issues that center around abortion would begin to be eliminated. The best part was when she drew out a triangle. God was at the top. Man was on the bottom left and Woman was on the bottom right. Both are individuals that need to focus on moving closer to God, and the closer they get to God, the closer they get to each other. She talked about how God brought Eve to Adam, and we should expect Him to bring a woman to a man now too. Bev had this awesome quote: "Who you want at 22 is not who you will want at 55, so let God decided who you should be with and let Him bring her to you." So cool :) Takes a lot of pressure off!

We talked about a lot more in just these two days. It was very good. But this is already way too long so I'll stop now. Tonight I am going to my mentor, Catherine's, house with some girls for a movie night. So excited :) and tomorrow my family is going to be here!!! Even more excited :) Its going to be a good Thanksgiving Break. I have so much to be thankful for. I am so incredibly blessed. Thank you, God, for being so crazy awesome in your love for me! Happy Thanksgiving everyone and God bless!


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Pretty Much a Pointless Blog

Weekends are so awesome. I love weekends. This awesome weekend started Friday night with an even called "Love Feast." We all got dressed up and basically every person who is involved with the YWAM Tyler Base comes to Twin Oaks Ranch to eat an awesome Thanksgiving meal and be a family. I was very thankful to know a dorm full of girls who could help me get dressed up. Even if I would have known about this event, I wouldn't have really had anything to bring for it. Nothing I wore that night was mine. But it was actually fun to get dressed up! I painted my toe nails and everything. I am still surprised at how good it feels to have my toes painted. We are living in such a missionary environment where we are lucky to find time to get into a shower everyday. Simple blessings :) There is about to be a lot of cute pictures put up on Facebook from this event.

Yesterday was an awesome day. We (Kelsey, Trent, and I with a couple friends) got to spend the day off base at one of our friend's house. We played at the park, drank coffee, drank tea, ate an awesome home cooked meal, played dominoes, and watched a million movies. Lazy, awesome, relaxing day.

Today is, of course, laundry and homework day. yay.... I really dislike paying for laundry...especially when the machines never really seem to get my clothes clean. I will be so thankful to have my own washer and dryer someday!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

TheCall, TheCry, and The Medical Account of the Crucifixion

This week has been so crazy. I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to write about The Call yet. But even now, I feel like there isn't much I can say. If I start talking about details, I could write a 20 page paper on the amazing things God did while we were there. I feel so honored that God called Trent and I to be a part of that experience. My eyes have started to be opened to the importance and value of fasting and prayer. Praying for Detroit and America as a whole was so impactful. The 24 hours was broken up into sections of what we would be praying for. We prayed for the end of racism and the end of abortion. We prayed for our country and for the leaders of this country. We repented of sins that had not been repented of. That was powerful in itself. Going up to The Call, I was expecting God to speak (riding in van for 26 hours and then praying for 24 hours and then riding in a van again for 22 hours is a lot of time with God. when you spend that much time with God He's going to speak). But I was blown away again by how much God spoke to me about what was coming in my future personally. God revealed a lot to me about my future family and things we would be doing. He reconfirmed a lot of things people have already spoken over Trenton. He began to have my practice using gifts from Him. He gave me words to say to people that I had no idea where they were coming from. And you know what? It was exactly what they needed to hear! How cool is that? Praise God!

On March 15th there is another amazing even like this happening. TheCry Hollywood. thecryhollywood.com Its going to be a lot like The Call with prayer and fasting, but instead of interceding for America and Detroit, people will be getting together to pray for Hollywood. My heart yearns so badly to be at this event. Hollywood is SO influential in our culture. I would love to see Christian start rising up again so we can impact the culture in a much more positive way. Christian movies (you can't deny it, it is the norm) are so cheesy. The acting is so so and the writing is corny. I want to see Christians rise up and make epic, amazing, Hollywood quality type movies. Movies that non-Christains would want to see, but would be impacted in a way God would be pleased with. I want to be a part of this in whatever way I can. Please keep this event in your prayers.

Class this week has nuts. A couple nights ago, we went over the medical account of Christ's crucifixion. It was amazing, interesting, and intense. I found it online, and I know its long, but if you're interested, read on:

The physical passion of the Christ began in Gethsemane. Of the many aspects of this initial suffering, the one of greatest physiological interest is the bloody sweat. It is interesting that St. Luke, the physician, is the only one to mention this. He says, “And being in agony, He prayed the longer. And His sweat became as drops of blood, trickling down upon the ground.”

Every ruse (trick) imaginable has been used by modern scholars to explain away this description, apparently under the mistaken impression that this just doesn’t happen. A great deal of effort could have been saved had the doubters consulted the medical literature. Though very rare, the phenomenon of Hematidrosis, or bloody sweat, is well documented. Under great emotional stress of the kind our Lord suffered, tiny capillaries in the sweat glands can break, thus mixing blood with sweat. This process might well have produced marked weakness and possible shock.

After the arrest in the middle of the night, Jesus was next brought before the Sanhedrin and Caiphus, the High Priest; it is here that the first physical trauma was inflicted. A soldier struck Jesus across the face for remaining silent when questioned by Caiphus. The palace guards then blind-folded Him and mockingly taunted Him to identify them as they each passed by, spat upon Him, and struck Him in the face.

In the early morning, battered and bruised, dehydrated, and exhausted from a sleepless night, Jesus is taken across the Praetorium of the Fortress Antonia, the seat of government of the Procurator of Judea, Pontius Pilate. You are, of course, familiar with Pilate’s action in attempting to pass responsibility to Herod Antipas, the Tetrarch of Judea. Jesus apparently suffered no physical mistreatment at the hands of Herod and was returned to Pilate. It was then, in response to the cries of the mob, that Pilate ordered Barabbas released and condemned Jesus to scourging and crucifixion.

There is much disagreement among authorities about the unusual scourging as a prelude to crucifixion. Most Roman writers from this period do not associate the two. Many scholars believe that Pilate originally ordered Jesus scourged as his full punishment and that the death sentence by crucifixion came only in response to the taunt by the mob that the Procurator was not properly defending Caesar against this pretender who allegedly claimed to be the King of the Jews.

Preparations for the scourging were carried out when the Prisoner was stripped of His clothing and His hands tied to a post above His head. It is doubtful the Romans would have made any attempt to follow the Jewish law in this matter, but the Jews had an ancient law prohibiting more than forty lashes. (Through trial and error, they knew that generally a person would die from infections about 3 days after receiving more than 40 lashes. If a person survived 40 lashes, they could not be tried again for the same crime. It was considered equal to the death penalty.)

The Roman legionnaire steps forward with the flagrum (or flagellum) in his hand. This is a short whip consisting of several heavy, leather thongs with two small balls of lead attached near the ends of each. The heavy whip is brought down with full force again and again across Jesus’ shoulders, back, and legs. At first the thongs cut through the skin only. Then, as the blows continue, they cut deeper into the subcutaneous tissues, producing first an oozing of blood from the capillaries and veins of the skin, and finally spurting arterial bleeding from vessels in the underlying muscles.

The small balls of lead first produce large, deep bruises which are broken open by subsequent blows. Finally the skin of the back is hanging in long ribbons and the entire area is an unrecognizable mass of torn, bleeding tissue. When it is determined by the centurion in charge that the prisoner is near death, the beating is finally stopped.

The half-fainting Jesus is then untied and allowed to slump to the stone pavement, wet with His own blood. The Roman soldiers see a great joke in this provincial Jew claiming to be king. They throw a robe across His shoulders and place a stick in His hand for a scepter. They still need a crown to make their travesty complete. Flexible branches covered with long thorns (commonly used in bundles for firewood) are plaited into the shape of a crown and this is pressed into His scalp. Again there is copious bleeding, the scalp being one of the most vascular areas of the body.

After mocking Him and striking Him across the face, the soldiers take the stick from His hand and strike Him across the head, driving the thorns deeper into His scalp. Finally, they tire of their sadistic sport and the robe is torn from His back. Already having adhered to the clots of blood and serum in the wounds, its removal causes excruciating pain just as in the careless removal of a surgical bandage, and almost as though He were again being whipped the wounds once more begin to bleed.

In deference to Jewish custom, the Romans return His garments. The heavy patibulum of the cross is tied across His shoulders, and the procession of the condemned Christ, two thieves, and the execution detail of Roman soldiers headed by a centurion begins its slow journey along the Via Dolorosa. In spite of His efforts to walk erect, the weight of the heavy wooden beam,(about 110 pounds) together with the shock produced by copious blood loss, is too much. He stumbles and falls. The rough wood of the beam gouges into the lacerated skin and muscles of the shoulders. He tries to rise, but human muscles have been pushed beyond their endurance.

The centurion, anxious to get on with the crucifixion, selects a stalwart North African onlooker, Simon of Cyrene, to carry the cross. Jesus follows, still bleeding and sweating the cold, clammy sweat of shock, until the 650 yard journey from the fortress Antonia to Golgotha is finally completed.

Jesus is offered wine mixed with myrrh, a mild analgesic mixture. He refuses to drink. Simon is ordered to place the patibulum on the ground and Jesus quickly thrown backward with His shoulders against the wood. The legionnaire feels for the depression at the front of the wrist. (The nails were actually put into the wrists. Placing them in the hands would have caused the nails to tear through his hand under the weight of his body.) He drives a heavy, square, wrought-iron nail through the wrist (between the two little bones) and deep into the wood. Quickly, he moves to the other side and repeats the action being careful not to pull the arms too tightly, but to allow some flexion and movement. The patibulum is then lifted in place at the top of the stipes and the titulus reading “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews” is nailed in place.

The left foot is now pressed backward against the right foot, and with both feet extended, toes down, a nail is driven through the arch of each, leaving the knees moderately flexed. The victim is now crucified. As He slowly sags down with more weight on the nails in the wrists excruciating pain shoots along the fingers and up the arms to explode in the brain — the nails in the wrists are putting pressure on the median nerves. As He pushes Himself upward to avoid this stretching torment, He places His full weight on the nail through His feet. Again there is the searing agony of the nail tearing through the nerves between the metatarsal bones of the feet.

At this point, as the arms fatigue, great waves of cramps sweep over the muscles, knotting them in deep, relentless, throbbing pain. With these cramps comes the inability to push Himself upward. Hanging by his arms, the pectoral muscles are paralyzed and the intercostal muscles are unable to act. Air can be drawn into the lungs, but cannot be exhaled. Jesus fights to raise Himself in order to get even one short breath. Finally, carbon dioxide builds up in the lungs and in the blood stream and the cramps partially subside. Spasmodically, he is able to push Himself upward to exhale and bring in the life-giving oxygen. It was undoubtedly during these periods that He uttered the seven short sentences recorded:

The first, looking down at the Roman soldiers throwing dice for His seamless garment, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

The second, to the penitent thief, “Today thou shalt be with me in Paradise.”

The third, looking down at the terrified, grief-stricken adolescent John — the beloved Apostle — he said, “Behold thy mother.” Then, looking to His mother Mary, “Woman behold thy son.”

The fourth cry is from the beginning of the 22nd Psalm, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?”

Hours of limitless pain, cycles of twisting, joint-rending cramps, intermittent partial asphyxiation, searing pain where tissue is torn from His lacerated back as He moves up and down against the rough timber. Then another agony begins… A terrible crushing pain deep in the chest as the pericardium slowly fills with serum and begins to compress the heart.

One remembers again the 22nd Psalm, the 14th verse: “I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels.”

It is now almost over. The loss of tissue fluids has reached a critical level; the compressed heart is struggling to pump heavy, thick, sluggish blood into the tissue; the tortured lungs are making a frantic effort to gasp in small gulps of air. The markedly dehydrated tissues send their flood of stimuli to the brain.

Jesus gasps His fifth cry, “I thirst.”

One remembers another verse from the prophetic 22nd Psalm: “My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou has brought me into the dust of death.”

A sponge soaked in posca, the cheap, sour wine which is the staple drink of the Roman legionaries, is lifted to His lips. He apparently doesn’t take any of the liquid. The body of Jesus is now in extremis, and He can feel the chill of death creeping through His tissues. This realization brings out His sixth words, possibly little more than a tortured whisper, “It is finished.” His mission of atonement has completed. Finally He can allow his body to die.

With one last surge of strength, He once again presses His torn feet against the nail, straightens His legs, takes a deeper breath, and utters His seventh and last cry, “Father! Into thy hands I commit my spirit.”

The rest you know. In order that the Sabbath not be profaned, the Jews asked that the condemned men be dispatched and removed from the crosses. The common method of ending a crucifixion was by crucifracture, the breaking of the bones of the legs. This prevented the victim from pushing himself upward; thus the tension could not be relieved from the muscles of the chest and rapid suffocation occurred. The legs of the two thieves were broken, but when the soldiers came to Jesus they saw that this was unnecessary.

Apparently to make doubly sure of death, the legionnaire drove his lance through the fifth interspace between the ribs, upward through the pericardium and into the heart. The 34th verse of the 19th chapter of the Gospel according to St. John reports: “And immediately there came out blood and water.” That is, there was an escape of water fluid from the sac surrounding the heart, giving postmortem evidence that our Lord died not the usual crucifixion death by suffocation, but of heart failure due to shock and constriction of the heart by fluid in the pericardium. (Our Christ literally died of a broken heart.)

Thus we have had our glimpse — including the medical evidence — of that epitome of evil which man has exhibited toward man and toward God. It has been a terrible sight, and more than enough to leave us despondent and depressed. How grateful we can be that we have the great sequel in the infinite mercy of God toward man — at once the miracle of the atonement and the expectation of the triumphant Easter morning.

From New Wine Magazine, April 1982. Originally published in Arizona Medicine, March 1965, Arizona Medical Association.

Lord Jesus, thank you for your love. Thank you for loving me so much to do this for me so that we could spend every day together from now into eternity. What else could I do but give my life to you? You are my Savior, and I am so in love with you.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Heading to the Call

Tomorrow morning, Trent and I are heading to Detroit, Michigan for The Call. Our whole weekend will be about praying for America to remember where it came from and the purpose God has called it to. I'm already looking forward to writing a blog when we come back. Crazy stuff is going to happen! We leave tomorrow morning at 7:15. A lot of my fellow classmates are having issues with this, but I think Trent and I will be just fine. The car ride up will be about 24 hours...not as confident with how Trent and I will do with that. Please pray! haha We are taking vans up - each holding 15 people including the driver. Most of my school is going. There are about 30 of us plus staff. I can't even imagine what this experience is going to be like. Stay tuned!

Man I don't even know what else to write about. I feel like I haven't had a chance to breathe this week. Our week of class got jammed into three days sense we are all going to be gone tomorrow and Friday. We had the most awesome teacher, Ollie Olson. This man is unbelievable. I heard from someone in School of Worship that before any teaching he gives, he reads through the whole Bible. Then, he reads through it again, to pick up on scripture that goes with what he is going to be teaching on. And then, he reads it one or two more times. This man is a walking Bible. I just want him to be with me all day long quoting scripture to me. My classmates asked him so many questions. All those hard questions that never seem to have an answer, and Mr. Olson would be like, "Oh that is a very good question. Turn with me to blah blah blah." And he would just KNOW a handful of verses for each question, exactly where they were and what they meant. It was nuts and so beautiful to watch and listen to. I want to be that cool someday. I think I'm going to spend a lot of the driving to and from The Call just getting into The Word and reading things I just never have before.

Well, please keep Trent and I and my school in your prayers this weekend. America get ready to be shaken up!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Korea Newsletter

Good Morning!


We just received our newsletters for Korea. I was given 10 to send out, but I thought I would also write it up here so more people have a chance to see it and also see my awesome team :)

So if you look all the way to the right, the beautiful woman on the end is Meganne and the man standing behind her is her fiance, Zac. They are two of our leaders taking us to Korea. The man holding the baby (Baby Gabe) is Nate. The woman standing to the left of him is his wife, Lauren. They are the team leaders. Please be praying for these awesome people! The other person in this picture who really needs specific prayer is standing between our leaders in the front. Her name is Megan. She is no longer coming to Korea with us. She actually left DTS about a week ago, and we are not certain where she is. We all miss her like crazy and are constantly praying for God's arms to be wrapped around her. Please say a prayer for her as well. Everyone else in this picture are my classmates from DTS and also some people from the School of Worship. We have a very talented and passionate team. Crazy things are going to happen in South Korea, and I'm so excited!


Ok here is my newsletter:


Dear Family and Friends,


I am writing to invite you to become a partner in an exciting missionary journey to South Korea. At the beginning of January, my team will travel to Asia to bring the hope of the Gospel and the tangible love of God.


Back in September, I arrived at Youth With A Mission (YWAM) Tyler to attend the Discipleship Training School (DTS). Along with forty-eight other classmates, I have been learning about hearing God's voice, the importance of prayer, the truth about God's character, living a life of surrender and obedience, and much more. With all I am learning, I know I am responsible to go and apply in practical ways what God is teaching me. God has given our class a heart of compassion for the people of the world. As we prayed about where we should go, He impressed on our hearts the needs in South Korea, where we hope to challenge the youth of Korea to find redemption and restoration in God.


While in South Korea we will be preaching, teaching, and sharing testimonies with intermediate and high school students in public schools. In addition, we will be using interactive English training methods to create further opportunities to share God's heart. We will also reach out to orphans and bring hope and joy to the needy. Our main goal is simply to demonstrate God's heart of love to this part of the world.


Like each of my classmates, I am responsible to pay for my own airfare and living expenses. Would you consider playing a part in impacting the people of South Korea by helping financially?


The airfare and living expenses per person for this YWAM trip will total $2,000.


Whatever amount you can give toward this will be gratefully received, however the Lord leads you. Your gift is needed by November 28th. As you give, the people of South Korea will be impacted by God's blessings as we work together to bring compassion and joy. Thank you for considering this investment into God's work.


With thanks,


Brittany and Trenton


If you are interested in supporting Trent and I financially, you can make checks payable to YWAM. Do not write my name or Trent's name on the check. Attach a separate note that says the check is for Trent and I. You can mail the checks to:


YWAM DTS KV Outreach


P.O. Box 3000


Garden Valley, TX 75771



I sincerely want to thank everyone who has been praying for us or who has supported us financially so far. I can't even count the blessings that has brought us. Thank you for considering supporting us on going to South Korea!




Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Call, Everything, and Laundry

Praise God for He is my Provider!
Trent and I will be heading to Detroit on Thursday with about 30 of my fellow YWAMers. Yesterday my leaders informed me that Trent would not cost anything to go. I don't know if they are paying for him or what, but that's $167 I don't need to come up with. A young woman from the School of Worship is going to be paying my full $167. How do I ever say thank you for something like that? So crazy. We will all head up early Thursday morning. Breakfast at 6:30 and vans pull out at 7:15. The Call begins Friday evening at 6:00 and goes until Saturday evening at 6:00. Then we head out and should get home sometime Sunday evening. I'm really excited that Trent and I will get to be part of this experience.

Yesterday we got to perform what we had been working on all week for our outreaches. I did the hip hop dance and performed "Everything." Ah so awesome. I feel so blessed to be a part of this. Before this, I was never part of something that moved people to tears. I love being used by God in such an impactful way. And this probably sounds dumb but I love the physical strain of it! I love the sore muscles and getting beat up by demons just before Jesus rescues me. I have bruises everywhere...and I think I may have cracked something in my foot during the performance yesterday. Its still really sore and gets more sore as I walk on it, and its all swollen and I can't really stretch it out. I'm kinda glad Ministry Prep week is over so my body can recover!

Today has been a relaxing laundry and catch up on homework day. It's going to be weird to start classes again on Monday, but we only have 3 days of classes and then its The Call! Excited :)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Spiritual Warfare

All right here comes some crazy good stuff. I meant to write this like Sunday night, but now is when I have enough time to do it so I'm doing it now! Last Sunday we had a Major General come and speak to us about warfare. Warfare and its relation to Spiritual Warfare. I know a lot of people back at home don't hear this much and may not even consider it to be a real thing. But let me tell you - it is a real thing. Satan will attack and he will strike to kill when you are at your lowest point. We must acquire the warrior's soul if we are going to be victorious with Jesus. The Major General really pressed in that during peace time is the time to practice those things you would do during the war. Peace time is the time to work out your mistakes so that you don't make them when it really matters. For me, the practical application of this right now has to do with prayer. I get so intimidated by praying out loud - and praying for someone else while my hand rests on them -- oh man. But now is the time to practice. If I make a mistake now, it won't have the same effect as if I would make a mistake while praying for someone in South Korea who is on the edge of accepting Christ.

If Satan can distract your mind - he's won. And man does he like to use that: problems with money or focusing on getting more money, sickness in you or in your family, relationships (good or bad, they are not healthy if they take priority over Jesus), employment/unemployment, there are just so many things Satan can use to take your mind off God and onto earthy things.

The General Major stressed this so much that it is very large in my notes:

NEVER QUIT

Romans 8:31 says that if God is for us, who can be against us. If you stay in God's will, if you keep looking to Him for your next step, you've won. Jesus has already been declared the winner! The only way we can loose is to give our win away. If you are a follower of Christ, then the warrior in this war, the champion, is YOU. We all have the responsibility to preach the word and to do something. Live by faith.


You can't win in a defensive position.


Satan's main thing is to cause fear and discouragement. If you feel this - its Satan. Don't take your eyes off the Lord. Follow His plan.


The focus of the church in America has become building a large audience instead of an army. We need to get out and make a positive influence without becoming part of the world. GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT! The Lord is still in the blessing business.


The Major General than gave us the 9 Principles of Warfare, but he then applied these principles to what they look like in Spiritual Warfare.

(1) Objective Your objective needs to be clearly defined and attainable. Be sure of your calling personally. Nothing more and nothing less. I remember this being a big lesson at my home church. People wanted to do so much for God and for the church that they started taking on way too much. Pray about what God wants you to do and then do that. Don't give yourself extra jobs.

(2) Mass There is always a 3:1 ratio. We want 3 people for every 1 enemy. And remember God is always victorious. We always have the advantage. We always have the 3: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. "No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us." ~Romans 8:37 "We can use God's mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments." ~2 Corinthians 10:4

(3) Maintain Tactical Maneuverability Keep as many movement options open as possible. Keep moving forward in your relationship with God. Stay busy in His work. Being a lukewarm Christian = death. Satan will get you. Move.

(4) Stay on Offensive Take the fight to the enemy. Move forward to the fight. Retreat is not even in our war manual. Be active in God.

(5) Unity of Command Know who is in command and know the order of command. Be in a chain of command. Have someone hold you accountable. This is something I have really been leaning lately. God is in command of my life. But when God tells me something I don't really understand or that I don't know how to live out, I move down in the chain of command to someone who is still over me. I have a few leaders here who have taken me in, who pray for me and give me wise council about things God has been telling me. I can't even express what a blessing this is. I'll be the first to put my hands in the air and admit that I have no idea what to do with some of the things God has been telling me. A solider who is alone is always overcome. Be under authority. Its a blessing.

(6) Security Don't let the enemy get an advantage. Keep your mind and heart secure in God. Your mind is the battlefield. Your mind is where Satan first attacks. This was huge wake up call for me. I have really learned to control my thoughts. I have really learned that my thoughts are not private at all. Its where sin always starts.

(7) Economy of Force Prayer is a weapon. Always bring more weapons than you think is needed.

(8) Surprise Attack where is Satan is unprepared. Do what is unexpected. Satan is not all knowing - only God is. Keep him guessing. Increase your time of worship for no reason. Be in the Word even though nothing is going wrong.

(9) Simplicity Use clear and uncomplicated plans. Never loose sight of the basics of Christianity. Stay focused on prayer, His word, all the basics. He always speaks clearly. Obey immediately without hesitation or compromise.


Use these principles and constantly evaluate your effectiveness. "So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." ~James 4:7

And finally remember, sometimes going too fast (letting Satan push you forward too fast) is just as bad or worse than not going fast enough. Again this is a lesson I am really learning. I know what God wants from me. But I'll let Him lead me there. I'm not going to jump to something in the future before I am prepared for it.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Welcome to the BEST WEEK EVER!

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires."

~Psalm 37:4


Ok let me just tell you about this awesome week. This week is Ministry Prep week. Which means I get to hang out with my South Korea team all week getting things prepared for when we go. This is what my day looks like this week:

9:30 Worship and connecting with my school -- getting announcements and filling people in on what's happening...and worshiping the Love of my Life :)

3:30 Hip-Hop -- yeah :)

8:00 Drama! How blessed can a person be! Thank you DADDY, for giving me such a passion for acting and performing, and thank you for finally opening my eyes to why you gave me this passion. Jesus is going to use this to bring people to Him. I am so blessed to be a part of it!


Glory to God!


However, I am really going to need a lot of prayer this week. For sure I will need prayer, to keep this drama and performing stuff in back seat to Christ. I don't want this to become my life and my core again. I want Jesus to be my life and my core. Also, as some of you may know, I'm a method actor -- so its kind of difficult putting myself back into past experiences I have had. I know I can handle it with my King's help, or He wouldn't have put me in this role. But prayer on how to enjoy this without letting it get overwhelming would be awesome :) I am just so thankful for this opportunity. I want to make the Creator proud.


My prayers have been going out to everyone at home. Especially for my family and my theater family. I miss y'all (translation: you all) so much. But seriously, I do. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving! I love you guys!